you are my ring
sometimes i wear you and like to show you off
when others comment on how awesome you are i gloat and i am so happy to wear you
you sparkle in the sunlight and i always make sure to polish you
we go everywhere together and it makes me so happy to know that youre mine
there are the days where i dont wear you
some days you just fit too tight, or i just need to change it up
and maybe i see someone else wearing a ring, much like you..
i get upset that they might also have you
it doesnt make me feel as special as when i wear you
one day, i'll pick you up and put you back on.
04 November, 2009
22 October, 2009
finding peace
i've been thinking about you a lot. youre in my dreams. i hear your laugh. wanting to call to hear about your day.
i am hiding in the dark. waiting for you to seek me just like He told me to. He tells me that my past has scared me enough with being a bigger person and that maybe i should take a seat and let things happen for me. i am so unlucky it is you fate picked. it hurts when you arent around.
i think the hardest part of this week is this:
"...i've cut my own mother out of my life."
the really sad part is disappointment happened a lot there.
the worse part is that it only happened once here.
"i don't want to remember what it was like to not know you"
i am hiding in the dark. waiting for you to seek me just like He told me to. He tells me that my past has scared me enough with being a bigger person and that maybe i should take a seat and let things happen for me. i am so unlucky it is you fate picked. it hurts when you arent around.
i think the hardest part of this week is this:
"...i've cut my own mother out of my life."
the really sad part is disappointment happened a lot there.
the worse part is that it only happened once here.
"i don't want to remember what it was like to not know you"
19 October, 2009
Ever Get the feeling that you're never All alone
its amazing
the moment you realize there are other people out there that match you.
you just click.
without the hesitation
without the fear
without the judgement
with just the fun
with just the moment
and the ability to just for once in your fucked up life understand what its like to actually just be yourself.
that is what it means to be amazing.
the moment you realize there are other people out there that match you.
you just click.
without the hesitation
without the fear
without the judgement
with just the fun
with just the moment
and the ability to just for once in your fucked up life understand what its like to actually just be yourself.
that is what it means to be amazing.
16 October, 2009
how did all these people get in my room?
dear joe
i've decided to start writing that book i've always been meaning to.
segments.
in segments.
i've decided to start writing that book i've always been meaning to.
segments.
in segments.
12 October, 2009
one of the best by one of the best
A heart that's full up like a landfill,
a job that slowly kills you,
bruises that won't heal.
You look so tired-unhappy,
bring down the government,
they don't, they don't speak for us.
I'll take a quiet life,
a handshake of carbon monoxide,
with no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises,
Silence, silence.
This is my final fit,
my final bellyache,
with no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises please.
Such a pretty house
and such a pretty garden.
No alarms and no surprises
no alarms and no surprises
no alarms and no surprises, please.
a job that slowly kills you,
bruises that won't heal.
You look so tired-unhappy,
bring down the government,
they don't, they don't speak for us.
I'll take a quiet life,
a handshake of carbon monoxide,
with no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises,
Silence, silence.
This is my final fit,
my final bellyache,
with no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises please.
Such a pretty house
and such a pretty garden.
No alarms and no surprises
no alarms and no surprises
no alarms and no surprises, please.
30 September, 2009
le sigh
You’re the cream in my coffee,
You’re the salt in my stew;
You will always be my necessity--
I’d be lost without you.
You’re the starch in my collar,
You’re the lace in my shoe;
You will always be my necessity--
I’d be lost without you.
Most men tell love tails,
And each phrase dovetails.
You’ve heard each known way,
This way is my own way.
You’re the sail of my love boat,
You’re the captain and crew;
You will always be my necessity--
I’d be lost without you.
You give life savor,
Bring out its flavor;
So this is clear, dear,
You’re my Worcestershire, dear.
You’re the sail of my love boat,
You’re the captain and crew;
You will always be my necessity--
I’d be lost without you.
i miss you h
You’re the salt in my stew;
You will always be my necessity--
I’d be lost without you.
You’re the starch in my collar,
You’re the lace in my shoe;
You will always be my necessity--
I’d be lost without you.
Most men tell love tails,
And each phrase dovetails.
You’ve heard each known way,
This way is my own way.
You’re the sail of my love boat,
You’re the captain and crew;
You will always be my necessity--
I’d be lost without you.
You give life savor,
Bring out its flavor;
So this is clear, dear,
You’re my Worcestershire, dear.
You’re the sail of my love boat,
You’re the captain and crew;
You will always be my necessity--
I’d be lost without you.
i miss you h
21 September, 2009
dear september
if you check back to 2007 or 6... whenever way back there on here, you'll see that September (and February) have this thing for me. its not very positive, and it never leads to good fortune.
thats why i decided, maybe this September will be better for me. started off pretty good, and with the span of one weekend two tumultuous things happening that can not be undone.
heartbroken, bruised, fat lipped and crying myself to sleep
the thing about your actions and how others translate the things you do is a sad story.
if i could say things to these two people, and show them my heart bleeding on the inside... maybe they'd understand. then again, there are a bunch of people that just dont understand me.
one uses fists and the other uses words.
i tried to protect her. i tried to make her stay. she went anyways.
i tried to have fun. i got a little out of control.
i never meant to hurt either of you.
if one of you cant see my true intentions, then neither of you will ever.
thats why i decided, maybe this September will be better for me. started off pretty good, and with the span of one weekend two tumultuous things happening that can not be undone.
heartbroken, bruised, fat lipped and crying myself to sleep
the thing about your actions and how others translate the things you do is a sad story.
if i could say things to these two people, and show them my heart bleeding on the inside... maybe they'd understand. then again, there are a bunch of people that just dont understand me.
one uses fists and the other uses words.
i tried to protect her. i tried to make her stay. she went anyways.
i tried to have fun. i got a little out of control.
i never meant to hurt either of you.
if one of you cant see my true intentions, then neither of you will ever.
28 August, 2009
rag doll
How ya feelin'?
The day has had its way with both of us
And oh, I've gone out of my way
But I'm not free
From this pain I'm feeling
I was a fool to think someday
You would come around
But no, no, no
I'm not thinking that way
'Cause now i see
You are not what you seem
You are a mystery to me
Sometimes I just want to scream
I think you should just go away 'cause
There's no necessity for you to stay and
Next time you come around my way
Forget it baby
You're not comin' in
How's your day been? (yeah)
'Cause mine has taken strange and ugly turns
But no, no, no
I feel better today
Because I'm off my knees
You are not what you seem
You are a mystery to me
Sometimes I just want to scream
I think you should just go away 'cause
There's no necessity for you to stay and
Next time you come around my way
Forget it baby
You're not comin' in
A hot minute for a life of sorrow
No you can't come back tomorrow
Shut my windows
Lock my doors
'Cause my heart won't be your ragdoll anymore (yeah)
I think you should just go away 'cause
There's no necessity for you to stay and
Next time you come around my way
Forget it baby
You're not comin' in
A hot minute for a life of sorrow
No you can't come back tomorrow
Shut my windows
Lock my doors
'Cause my heart won't be your ragdoll anymore (oh oh yeah yeah)
'Cause my heart won't be your ragdoll anymore
The day has had its way with both of us
And oh, I've gone out of my way
But I'm not free
From this pain I'm feeling
I was a fool to think someday
You would come around
But no, no, no
I'm not thinking that way
'Cause now i see
You are not what you seem
You are a mystery to me
Sometimes I just want to scream
I think you should just go away 'cause
There's no necessity for you to stay and
Next time you come around my way
Forget it baby
You're not comin' in
How's your day been? (yeah)
'Cause mine has taken strange and ugly turns
But no, no, no
I feel better today
Because I'm off my knees
You are not what you seem
You are a mystery to me
Sometimes I just want to scream
I think you should just go away 'cause
There's no necessity for you to stay and
Next time you come around my way
Forget it baby
You're not comin' in
A hot minute for a life of sorrow
No you can't come back tomorrow
Shut my windows
Lock my doors
'Cause my heart won't be your ragdoll anymore (yeah)
I think you should just go away 'cause
There's no necessity for you to stay and
Next time you come around my way
Forget it baby
You're not comin' in
A hot minute for a life of sorrow
No you can't come back tomorrow
Shut my windows
Lock my doors
'Cause my heart won't be your ragdoll anymore (oh oh yeah yeah)
'Cause my heart won't be your ragdoll anymore
15 June, 2009
29 May, 2009
goosebumps
this is the only song that gives me goosebumps - no matter how many times ive heard it.
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/somethingcorporate/konstantine.html
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/somethingcorporate/konstantine.html
tiers and tears
good morning xanax.
good morning tiers and tears.
my directional paths are completely blurry. i dont have a fear of the unknown or the fear of learning something new. i dont understand the tiers, but i am aware of the tears. i just cant see the path in my head like i normally do. no one has ever known me to not man up and make a decision... let alone make a decision on impulse. there are times when i do consult the people around me for a light to guide my way.
im not so sure i know what happens when i have the light but cant see the path.
what is happening now and what should be happening. my brain can show me both, and i am a glutton for punishment. why i allow to sign up for a struggle is why i am in therapy. why do i always need pick the hard way? do i feel like i have something to prove? do i feel like i need to show someone i can do it? who is that someone?
the one thing that i can completely see is that i signed up for dark days. i feel them behind my eyes... whenever my chest tightens with the slight taste of the anxiety, i know they're coming. they may already be here.
to learn to be alone is the only way to learn to be together.
i forgot my own lesson. for that, i will be reprimanded by my master. me.
good morning tiers and tears.
my directional paths are completely blurry. i dont have a fear of the unknown or the fear of learning something new. i dont understand the tiers, but i am aware of the tears. i just cant see the path in my head like i normally do. no one has ever known me to not man up and make a decision... let alone make a decision on impulse. there are times when i do consult the people around me for a light to guide my way.
im not so sure i know what happens when i have the light but cant see the path.
what is happening now and what should be happening. my brain can show me both, and i am a glutton for punishment. why i allow to sign up for a struggle is why i am in therapy. why do i always need pick the hard way? do i feel like i have something to prove? do i feel like i need to show someone i can do it? who is that someone?
the one thing that i can completely see is that i signed up for dark days. i feel them behind my eyes... whenever my chest tightens with the slight taste of the anxiety, i know they're coming. they may already be here.
to learn to be alone is the only way to learn to be together.
i forgot my own lesson. for that, i will be reprimanded by my master. me.
27 May, 2009
i love my memory
i love hearing songs that remind me of things that happened.
said song.. reminding me of that one time we went to the club
vague.. i know.. but i remember it. and you and i must have looked like we were having too much fun.
its safe to say that night was for a lot of firsts.
...and a lot of lasts.
(not like that nasty)
at least we cant say we didnt know what we were getting into..
im just glad that the sunset romance rose glitter spray the working gal wore came off with one wash ;)
said song.. reminding me of that one time we went to the club
vague.. i know.. but i remember it. and you and i must have looked like we were having too much fun.
its safe to say that night was for a lot of firsts.
...and a lot of lasts.
(not like that nasty)
at least we cant say we didnt know what we were getting into..
im just glad that the sunset romance rose glitter spray the working gal wore came off with one wash ;)
20 May, 2009
cake and ice cream
actually, i may be the only person in the world that cant stand the two together.
ive never been a food mixer until recently anyways. if its on my plate - NOTHING MINGLES WITH OTHER FOOD.
thats just how it goes.
until my corn met my mashed potatoes one night... i was skeptical, but allowed it. yeah its the only mingling i allow on my plate.
its like i have to individually taste items. nothing can intermingle at all.
this probably says a lot about what kind of person i am, in a weird way.
cake and ice cream...
no.
separate.
cant have them both.
brownie and ice cream...
yes.
able to be together.
just not the cake and the ice cream.
ive never been a food mixer until recently anyways. if its on my plate - NOTHING MINGLES WITH OTHER FOOD.
thats just how it goes.
until my corn met my mashed potatoes one night... i was skeptical, but allowed it. yeah its the only mingling i allow on my plate.
its like i have to individually taste items. nothing can intermingle at all.
this probably says a lot about what kind of person i am, in a weird way.
cake and ice cream...
no.
separate.
cant have them both.
brownie and ice cream...
yes.
able to be together.
just not the cake and the ice cream.
15 May, 2009
who me? shy?
me: who is this
(208): I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
heather: you?
me: perhaps.
one thing ive always been told is that i am 'my mothers daughter'
not really understood what that meant until i heard wild tales of her youth. does that kind of thing go through the blood lines?
for the record, id like to say that i am not a skanky girl... i just understand exactly what the word fun is.
thanks mom. im a party's bestfriend. without you, my phrase of me not giving a fuck wouldnt exist.
(208): I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
heather: you?
me: perhaps.
one thing ive always been told is that i am 'my mothers daughter'
not really understood what that meant until i heard wild tales of her youth. does that kind of thing go through the blood lines?
for the record, id like to say that i am not a skanky girl... i just understand exactly what the word fun is.
thanks mom. im a party's bestfriend. without you, my phrase of me not giving a fuck wouldnt exist.
13 May, 2009
this might be my anthem song
Give me a lake that I can dive into
Bury my head in the shit at the bottom
Fuck today
Fuck San Francisco
Fuck California
I realize I never gave you a chance
I realize I never gave you romance
At the top of the hill
At the top of the hill
Leave me to stream in the current or breeze
Give me a lake that I can dive into
Bury my head in the shit at the bottom
Fuck today
Fuck Oakland
Fuck California
At the top of the hill
At the top of the hill
Leave me to stream in the current or breeze
Leave me to stream in the current or breeze
Leave me to stream in the current or breeze
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GL2RFaiqRs
Bury my head in the shit at the bottom
Fuck today
Fuck San Francisco
Fuck California
I realize I never gave you a chance
I realize I never gave you romance
At the top of the hill
At the top of the hill
Leave me to stream in the current or breeze
Give me a lake that I can dive into
Bury my head in the shit at the bottom
Fuck today
Fuck Oakland
Fuck California
At the top of the hill
At the top of the hill
Leave me to stream in the current or breeze
Leave me to stream in the current or breeze
Leave me to stream in the current or breeze
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GL2RFaiqRs
12 May, 2009
damned if you do, fucked if you dont
so if any normal person waited a couple days before bringing something up that was bothering them they usually get this reaction.
why didnt you tell me before?
so this is why i wont tell you before.
i got clearly have some anger issues that i believe run in my italian line. lets face it - we're known for being a little hot tempered.
in my older age, ive realized that if i let it go for when it happens and allow myself the time to process it, i will refrain from saying a lot of things that i dont mean, and it will be for your benefit if its you im having beef with.
i dont like to apologize for saying things that bother me. especially if ive waited out the steam.
case in point - if i bring something up you think is resolved, obviously i have unresolve. LET ME GET IT OUT. (thanks therapy!)
when you continue to not allow me the chance to feel content with the way things are closing, fuck you.
fuck you fuck you fuck you!
i dont wish to live in the past. i wont allow things to bother me for more than a couple days now. when things keep resurfacing when you cant remember where we had dinner last week but remember what a downer it was for me to confront you six months ago, youre doing it wrong.
i am no queen on how relationships are supposed to work between humans. i never claim to understand the opposite sex either - i just wish that if i feel like i need to be heard you'd have the fucking decency to just let me talk and not go back six months ago to tell me a bunch of shit i dont really dont think is necessary to revisit.
if we're revisiting something you brought up - obviously you have unresolve too.. funny how that works, huh?
why didnt you tell me before?
so this is why i wont tell you before.
i got clearly have some anger issues that i believe run in my italian line. lets face it - we're known for being a little hot tempered.
in my older age, ive realized that if i let it go for when it happens and allow myself the time to process it, i will refrain from saying a lot of things that i dont mean, and it will be for your benefit if its you im having beef with.
i dont like to apologize for saying things that bother me. especially if ive waited out the steam.
case in point - if i bring something up you think is resolved, obviously i have unresolve. LET ME GET IT OUT. (thanks therapy!)
when you continue to not allow me the chance to feel content with the way things are closing, fuck you.
fuck you fuck you fuck you!
i dont wish to live in the past. i wont allow things to bother me for more than a couple days now. when things keep resurfacing when you cant remember where we had dinner last week but remember what a downer it was for me to confront you six months ago, youre doing it wrong.
i am no queen on how relationships are supposed to work between humans. i never claim to understand the opposite sex either - i just wish that if i feel like i need to be heard you'd have the fucking decency to just let me talk and not go back six months ago to tell me a bunch of shit i dont really dont think is necessary to revisit.
if we're revisiting something you brought up - obviously you have unresolve too.. funny how that works, huh?
05 May, 2009
this normally wouldnt go here, but..
heathaho: i don't want to remember what it was like to not know you
melissa: omg
melissa: im choked up
melissa: you bitch
heather: me too
heather: and i had to answer the phone
heather: <4
melissa: <3
melissa: omg
melissa: im choked up
melissa: you bitch
heather: me too
heather: and i had to answer the phone
heather: <4
melissa: <3
24 April, 2009
things ill live with forever
vertigo
generalized anxiety disorder
obsessive compulsive disorder
insomnia
being fuckin sexy
yeah, i said insomnia.
generalized anxiety disorder
obsessive compulsive disorder
insomnia
being fuckin sexy
yeah, i said insomnia.
17 April, 2009
and now, waiting in the wing
i want to be clear about this, i do not have a bucket list.
what i have is a list of things i want to do before i die.
some of you may find them silly, or erratic... or i dont really care actually. its my list, so fuck off.
i've decided that keeping a mental picture of it is just not worth it. there are a bunch of items i cant remember. i need to get it down on paper, probably that yellow pad paper that my grandpa uses for to-do lists when his kids visit for projects... and i decided today that im going to share it on my internet real estate.
These are in no particular order:
ride an elephant
get a pair of heels made custom for my feet
have a long layover so i can see a friend
shoot a gun
bowl a 250 game
go to jail
eat sushi
complete yoga pose downward dog with my feet flat
become a respectable consultant
visit boston and hawaii
find a liquor that i can drink straight
come to terms with my artistic inability
find something in a haystack
be morehonest upfront with my feelings
become friends with a sea otter (i'll settle for adoption)
get a boob job
forgive and forget
go back to europe
find one favorite song i could never live without
be in love for the wrong reasons
have strawberry hair
go to a nude beach
find frank sinatra's star in hollywood without help
intentionally pulling a fire alarm
roundhouse kicking someone in the face
i guess i'll update this with more shit as i remember it.
what i have is a list of things i want to do before i die.
some of you may find them silly, or erratic... or i dont really care actually. its my list, so fuck off.
i've decided that keeping a mental picture of it is just not worth it. there are a bunch of items i cant remember. i need to get it down on paper, probably that yellow pad paper that my grandpa uses for to-do lists when his kids visit for projects... and i decided today that im going to share it on my internet real estate.
These are in no particular order:
get a pair of heels made custom for my feet
shoot a gun
bowl a 250 game
complete yoga pose downward dog with my feet flat
become a respectable consultant
visit boston and hawaii
find a liquor that i can drink straight
find something in a haystack
be more
become friends with a sea otter (i'll settle for adoption)
get a boob job
go back to europe
find one favorite song i could never live without
have strawberry hair
go to a nude beach
intentionally pulling a fire alarm
roundhouse kicking someone in the face
i guess i'll update this with more shit as i remember it.
16 April, 2009
yeah thanks
remember that one time i wanted to be that one chick for halloween and that other chick wouldnt let me be her and i was mad?
and then i was allowed to by that dude and i didnt do it cause that one chick went on vacation and it wouldnt be funny?
yeah, i remember it too.
october is coming.
and then i was allowed to by that dude and i didnt do it cause that one chick went on vacation and it wouldnt be funny?
yeah, i remember it too.
october is coming.
18 March, 2009
dont yell at me
i've gone on record a number of times for hating CAPS
this time, people have gone too far.
yeah, we fucked some shit up at work that is making not only my life a living hell, but for most people that work here. hey.. we arent perfect.
but dont you DARE send me a ticket with all CAPS because your customer is important to you ok? they arent the only listing on our site.
i hate you and your ticket will be reviewed tomorrow sucka.
this time, people have gone too far.
yeah, we fucked some shit up at work that is making not only my life a living hell, but for most people that work here. hey.. we arent perfect.
but dont you DARE send me a ticket with all CAPS because your customer is important to you ok? they arent the only listing on our site.
i hate you and your ticket will be reviewed tomorrow sucka.
05 March, 2009
tweeting celebrities
Ive mentioned this in my twitter logs before. And the LA Times has also written an article about particular celebrities such as Greg Grunberg, Brea Grant (heroes), and Demi Moore, etc etc using twitter as a communication to their friends and fans.
About two weeks ago before the article was published, i stumbled on Ryan Seacrest's twitter page and i was horrified. i dont like the dude, and i dont think anything he tweets about is going to be worth while.
I follow people like Kevin Smith. And Joe Rogan. I know Lance Armstrong twitters, but im not so compelled to follow... (its not a non-cancer sympathy bullshit story. i just dont find him interesting)
How do i know they're real? Well, i just do. you could tell if they werent. Joe Rogan likes to talk about where he's at - radio stations he's on - stand up he's doing and even plug his blog (which is hilarious btw). They also use the magical tool of taking pictures and posting it to their twitter page. its them.
My new addition: Demi Moore likes to talk with a few of her couple thousand followers (for the record i only have about 20 followers, and i dont think they pay attention anyway). Ashton twitters, and apparently his is hard to understand.
I have also found myself following the Prop and Makeup people from Heroes (see Greg Grunberg & Brea Grant tie in). They post a lot of pictures of the things they are doing, and i must admit that i enjoy it when most of my celebrity or celebritots do this. it makes me feel connected to them on a different level. not on the 'im never going to meet them' level, but more of a 'wow, this person is pretty cool'
the LA Times article also went on to mention that it was unsure if it was a way to boost popularity or hype things. For as much as these people tweet, i doubt it. I think they think its fun. Its a proven fact that inquiring minds want to know.
This mind certainly wants to be in the know, LA Times writer.
www.twitter.com/theusebutton
About two weeks ago before the article was published, i stumbled on Ryan Seacrest's twitter page and i was horrified. i dont like the dude, and i dont think anything he tweets about is going to be worth while.
I follow people like Kevin Smith. And Joe Rogan. I know Lance Armstrong twitters, but im not so compelled to follow... (its not a non-cancer sympathy bullshit story. i just dont find him interesting)
How do i know they're real? Well, i just do. you could tell if they werent. Joe Rogan likes to talk about where he's at - radio stations he's on - stand up he's doing and even plug his blog (which is hilarious btw). They also use the magical tool of taking pictures and posting it to their twitter page. its them.
My new addition: Demi Moore likes to talk with a few of her couple thousand followers (for the record i only have about 20 followers, and i dont think they pay attention anyway). Ashton twitters, and apparently his is hard to understand.
I have also found myself following the Prop and Makeup people from Heroes (see Greg Grunberg & Brea Grant tie in). They post a lot of pictures of the things they are doing, and i must admit that i enjoy it when most of my celebrity or celebritots do this. it makes me feel connected to them on a different level. not on the 'im never going to meet them' level, but more of a 'wow, this person is pretty cool'
the LA Times article also went on to mention that it was unsure if it was a way to boost popularity or hype things. For as much as these people tweet, i doubt it. I think they think its fun. Its a proven fact that inquiring minds want to know.
This mind certainly wants to be in the know, LA Times writer.
www.twitter.com/theusebutton
To the three assholes that tried to strike my vehicle this morning
i know its early. the sun is barely out, and youre driving to your destination with sleepy eyes. so am i.
but here's the deal, PAY ATTENTION FUCKOS!
to the dude that treated the stop sign as a green light - you're a dick. you almost t-boned my jet. i probably would have punched you in the fuckin throat.
to the dude that didnt feel like slowing down at the red light - if my brakes are on, and the light is red, chances are my vehical isnt moving, and yours should not be moving a the speed of sound toward me. i heard that little skid at the end too. GET OFF YOUR PHONE AT 6AM!
and lastly, to the dude who completely ignored my attempt to slow down and my right turn signal as i was pulling into the parking structure at work - i hate you the most. you were at least 2 car lengths behind me when i started to slow and indicate. i had reached my destination and you almost made it worse for me, and everyone else that was trying to get to the building this morning.
i cant make this shit up people!
three god damn people tried to kill me this morning and i take the attempt on my life personal.
**special note to the guy at 7-11 that made me move my car so he could get into his truck that was parked all fucked up /me flips you off
i shouldnt be punished because you cant park your oversized vehicle asshat.
but here's the deal, PAY ATTENTION FUCKOS!
to the dude that treated the stop sign as a green light - you're a dick. you almost t-boned my jet. i probably would have punched you in the fuckin throat.
to the dude that didnt feel like slowing down at the red light - if my brakes are on, and the light is red, chances are my vehical isnt moving, and yours should not be moving a the speed of sound toward me. i heard that little skid at the end too. GET OFF YOUR PHONE AT 6AM!
and lastly, to the dude who completely ignored my attempt to slow down and my right turn signal as i was pulling into the parking structure at work - i hate you the most. you were at least 2 car lengths behind me when i started to slow and indicate. i had reached my destination and you almost made it worse for me, and everyone else that was trying to get to the building this morning.
i cant make this shit up people!
three god damn people tried to kill me this morning and i take the attempt on my life personal.
**special note to the guy at 7-11 that made me move my car so he could get into his truck that was parked all fucked up /me flips you off
i shouldnt be punished because you cant park your oversized vehicle asshat.
02 March, 2009
but whats the real issue?
the language barrier.
i think its utterly hilarious that people automatically think i speak their language. The amount of acronyms that are utilized in the business place of the Internet worlds is astounding.
so there's like three different sets of these acronyms that are pushed together to make a baby.. aka my company. and my company somehow has a brother that speaks french, a sister that speaks latin, and a redheaded stepchild that speaks street spanish.
the spanish and the latin are pretty close. i dunno wtf is going on with my french brother tho. i may smack him.
i think its utterly hilarious that people automatically think i speak their language. The amount of acronyms that are utilized in the business place of the Internet worlds is astounding.
so there's like three different sets of these acronyms that are pushed together to make a baby.. aka my company. and my company somehow has a brother that speaks french, a sister that speaks latin, and a redheaded stepchild that speaks street spanish.
the spanish and the latin are pretty close. i dunno wtf is going on with my french brother tho. i may smack him.
26 February, 2009
dont hate me cause im famous at work
the meeting that i had with random people on the phone today was a meeting about me - with me in it.
i felt honored and i wanted to stab myself in the throat all at once!
it was a special feeling that im not quite sure will ever happen again, but my name came up about 20 times within a 28 minute conversation. who knew i was so fucking cool?
who knew, that today, im the talk of the town and come monday ill be a celebrity-hero in the eyes of all.
shucks. im touched.
but no, melissa is not open source. im password protected you fucker.
i felt honored and i wanted to stab myself in the throat all at once!
it was a special feeling that im not quite sure will ever happen again, but my name came up about 20 times within a 28 minute conversation. who knew i was so fucking cool?
who knew, that today, im the talk of the town and come monday ill be a celebrity-hero in the eyes of all.
shucks. im touched.
but no, melissa is not open source. im password protected you fucker.
25 February, 2009
restoring my faith in mankind
So this was totally found on one of my favorite funny sites, and i realized that its actually something great that was captured.
Dude meets koala bear. koala bear is thirsty. dude shows sympathy and helps the little guy out. i cant figure out if that guy is a firefighter or not. im gonna say that he is. which makes it that much better.
23 February, 2009
alright, just stop it
Ok seriously, at what point do we need to tell them to stop?
does she need to get reconstructive armpit surgery to fix this? i mean, how does this shit even happen? she's not even grandma old yet and im confused at what im even looking at. knock it off.
17 February, 2009
post singles awareness day
i am not single. however i have spent many feb 14th's alone or not doing anything special because i refuse to.
not that i dont like to be mushy every once in a while, but i hate the thought that there is just one day out there that your spouse, bf, significant other or fuck buddy will take time out of their lives to appreciate you.
fuck off.
appreciate me everyday - except feb 14th. yeah, i said it. chew on that.
my boyfriend gave me the above flowers as a token of his love, or because he feels that it was the boyfriend thing to do, whichever, considering this was the first flower giving opportunity (not to mention the first valentines day) he's totally off the hook for this year. next year, i hope it passes us by and he surprises me in march with a special love date.
in other melissa news, i need to organize my life a bit better now. i know, youre saying to yourself, 'how is that possible!? you are the most organized person!' this is true, but i feel i need more bins and thus commencing spring cleaning a few weeks earlier than expected.
ok, mainly its my clothes and things i must shred that are becoming a problem. im thinking of hiring heather to shred my documents cause she loves to do that shit. i know, shes a freak - contrary to my bin obsession.
im shuddering at the fact that i need to clean out my dresser - or my side closet.
13 February, 2009
CTRL-X
for those of you that dont know, that means cancel
let me tell you whats cancelled, as far as i know...
canceled: because i think its wrong without two l's and according to www.dictionary.reference.com im still in the right (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cancelled) so take that auto-spell fuckers!
my own worst enemy: might have been the worst tv show ever. and my sister amanda might disagree since she actually watched it. this is not my problem, but im glad 'life' wasnt cancelled so my bf still has a steady show to work on. shame on you christian slater.
hiking: i hate hiking. i do not feel that ive reached a goal when i am at the top of any hill, mountain whatever. not that ive ever climbed a mountain. but i just look forward to reaching the bottom again.
the need for me to have 3 phones: this is a personal cancellation. im tired of wanting to use the iphone for internet searching on the go, the bberry for work, and then the personal cellular module. this ended with the death to.. drum roll please... the iphone. (yay!)
neck beards: guys, no one likes a neck beard. please shave it off. its gross.
... and im done.
let me tell you whats cancelled, as far as i know...
canceled: because i think its wrong without two l's and according to www.dictionary.reference.com im still in the right (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cancelled) so take that auto-spell fuckers!
my own worst enemy: might have been the worst tv show ever. and my sister amanda might disagree since she actually watched it. this is not my problem, but im glad 'life' wasnt cancelled so my bf still has a steady show to work on. shame on you christian slater.
hiking: i hate hiking. i do not feel that ive reached a goal when i am at the top of any hill, mountain whatever. not that ive ever climbed a mountain. but i just look forward to reaching the bottom again.
the need for me to have 3 phones: this is a personal cancellation. im tired of wanting to use the iphone for internet searching on the go, the bberry for work, and then the personal cellular module. this ended with the death to.. drum roll please... the iphone. (yay!)
neck beards: guys, no one likes a neck beard. please shave it off. its gross.
... and im done.
03 February, 2009
ill put a fork in your road
its got to be one of my biggest pet peeves about my job when people take the time to submit issues and have about 30+ assigned to them with no forward progress.
look, i dont want to pass judgment on you, but if you cant even do you're own shit - why do i want to take the extra stuff from you to create more work for someone else?
but just because i extend the hand of good faith, im gonna process your request. i would hope that you would see the tenacity in my movement to assertively get your issue resolved, but i know you will not. and you will continue to be that asshole that you are.
so to this i say, if youre making your own numbers look bad, im going to make my numbers look better. fucko.
look, i dont want to pass judgment on you, but if you cant even do you're own shit - why do i want to take the extra stuff from you to create more work for someone else?
but just because i extend the hand of good faith, im gonna process your request. i would hope that you would see the tenacity in my movement to assertively get your issue resolved, but i know you will not. and you will continue to be that asshole that you are.
so to this i say, if youre making your own numbers look bad, im going to make my numbers look better. fucko.
02 February, 2009
and now, a moment with melissa
Im in the process of whitening my teeth with those damn tray things you get at the dentist.
i cant even commit to the strips from Crest for 30 fucking minutes and they want me to wear these god damn trays for 1 - 3 hours.
I'll wear your trays, not because i have to but because i paid about one decimal point over more for them - but let me tell you this. i will not wear you for 3 fucking hours. i will only wear you between 1.5 and 2.5
YOU MAKE MY GUMS HURT!
i cant even wear you for more than two days in a row. i have to alternate two days on, two days off. i can barely brush my teeth the next morning and you want your evil peroxide to scab up my gums at the teeth line and cause me pain.
so much pain that i forgot until i bit into my orange today. it was like lemon juice on a cut..
CRUEL CRUEL WORLD!
i cant even commit to the strips from Crest for 30 fucking minutes and they want me to wear these god damn trays for 1 - 3 hours.
I'll wear your trays, not because i have to but because i paid about one decimal point over more for them - but let me tell you this. i will not wear you for 3 fucking hours. i will only wear you between 1.5 and 2.5
YOU MAKE MY GUMS HURT!
i cant even wear you for more than two days in a row. i have to alternate two days on, two days off. i can barely brush my teeth the next morning and you want your evil peroxide to scab up my gums at the teeth line and cause me pain.
so much pain that i forgot until i bit into my orange today. it was like lemon juice on a cut..
CRUEL CRUEL WORLD!
the best stretch
I started to think about stretches this morning. you know, the kind where it makes you let out some bizarre sound and makes you feel almost orgasmic and you're just way better off than you were prior to that stretch. why cant stretching feel like that all the time?
yawning feels pretty good too for the most part. unless you're sleepy and just want to be back in your bed. and why is it that yawns are so infectious? you dont see someone stretching and have some uncontrollable movement to stretch, well - yoga doesnt count.
22 September, 2008
today was a very good day.
RS: hey... you are the bomb
melissa: why is that
RS: because you taught Mary to fish
melissa: aww
melissa: shucks
its always very nice when your director can see how you help others.
melissa: why is that
RS: because you taught Mary to fish
melissa: aww
melissa: shucks
its always very nice when your director can see how you help others.
11 September, 2008
and now a little bit of hurt
its thursday and i think ive hated this week since last week and just didnt know it yet.
lets tally up my roller coaster week
Monday = angry and pain
Tuesday = lethargic
Wednesday = angry and emotional
Thursday = hurt
im not quite sure what tomorrow will bring, but i hope that its going to be better than what ive already experienced. can i just be happy tomorrow?
and im not going to say why im hurt. i know the reasons and i keep them to myself.
lets tally up my roller coaster week
Monday = angry and pain
Tuesday = lethargic
Wednesday = angry and emotional
Thursday = hurt
im not quite sure what tomorrow will bring, but i hope that its going to be better than what ive already experienced. can i just be happy tomorrow?
and im not going to say why im hurt. i know the reasons and i keep them to myself.
10 September, 2008
im angry
and you know why im angry too.
youre a jerk - but you knew that.
let me tell you about the other things you may or may not know.
you only have time for me when its convenient and a certain someone isnt around.
youre pigheaded
youre also ignorant
if you arent right, no one is right
you refuse to see someone elses side
you refuse to be rational about situations
you need to feel like the center of attention
if no one pays attention to you youre angry and you let everyone know
when youre in a shitty mood, you make sure you take everyone else down with you.
i travel so far to hang out with everyone and there are times you sit in the corner and piss and moan... or dont even participate and you want to know why i get mad.
and above all else, you have proven yourself to be a shitty 'on-your-terms-only' friend.
you are my friend cause i manage to look past all that junk and relate with you on certain levels and things.
but i digress..
im not sure i have a place for you any longer as you obviously have no place for me.
ill miss you
youre a jerk - but you knew that.
let me tell you about the other things you may or may not know.
you only have time for me when its convenient and a certain someone isnt around.
youre pigheaded
youre also ignorant
if you arent right, no one is right
you refuse to see someone elses side
you refuse to be rational about situations
you need to feel like the center of attention
if no one pays attention to you youre angry and you let everyone know
when youre in a shitty mood, you make sure you take everyone else down with you.
i travel so far to hang out with everyone and there are times you sit in the corner and piss and moan... or dont even participate and you want to know why i get mad.
and above all else, you have proven yourself to be a shitty 'on-your-terms-only' friend.
you are my friend cause i manage to look past all that junk and relate with you on certain levels and things.
but i digress..
im not sure i have a place for you any longer as you obviously have no place for me.
ill miss you
04 September, 2008
31 July, 2008
28 July, 2008
09 July, 2008
cloverfield, how dare you!
here i thought i was going to watch some fantastical movie about some weird monster when all i got was a spin off of the blair witch.
and if the motion sickness wasnt bad, it was a love story. the whole thing. it tricks you by telling you theres a big monsta that needs about treefiddy, but really its about loves. *gag*
im just disappointed because im on the fence. the casual conversation was good. i didnt feel like it was a scripted plot, but god damnit i wanted to puke like every 20 minutes.
if someone went back to rescue me, id atleast want to live at the end.
im sayin.
Antonio: there will be part 2
melissa: there is?
Antonio: yup
damnit.
and if the motion sickness wasnt bad, it was a love story. the whole thing. it tricks you by telling you theres a big monsta that needs about treefiddy, but really its about loves. *gag*
im just disappointed because im on the fence. the casual conversation was good. i didnt feel like it was a scripted plot, but god damnit i wanted to puke like every 20 minutes.
if someone went back to rescue me, id atleast want to live at the end.
im sayin.
Antonio: there will be part 2
melissa: there is?
Antonio: yup
damnit.
08 June, 2008
the sun also.... sets.
even if it was forced, i have the perfect room.
sure, it would have been nice to have at least three complete walls to put stuff against - instead i got a wall with low windows and a door, a wall of closets, and then a completely useless wall with the bathroom door and two half walls that make it impossible to ever rearrange my room again... unless that is if i give up my tv.
we know i cant do that since the sound or maybe even the flashes of light put me to sleep.
and how weird is that? the tv is so low on volume that sometimes i have to actually pay REALLY close attention to hear whats going on in the news, or im trying to put myself in a seizure.
actually, its so my brain can stop focusing on what it focuses on all day... the moments that i do sleep, try to be good ones. even if i need some help from the boobtube.
so how does this relate to my room?
i was forced onto the westside of the apartment.
sure, it gets hot as fuck in the afternoon while the sun beats into the windows, but after the sun sets and dusk hits i am reminded everyday of how much i love this time of day.
everything has no color. magic.
its like someone took a big can of black spray paint and covered all the houses and the palm trees and sometimes the cars the same color so the light of the sky could be dominating.
its the only part of the day that makes me open my blinds, pull back the drapes and open the windows so the whole world could see me sitting at my desk... or laying on my bed in the faintly lit box i call my room.
the room i was forced to have, to remind myself everyday how wonderful it is to be here.
sure, it would have been nice to have at least three complete walls to put stuff against - instead i got a wall with low windows and a door, a wall of closets, and then a completely useless wall with the bathroom door and two half walls that make it impossible to ever rearrange my room again... unless that is if i give up my tv.
we know i cant do that since the sound or maybe even the flashes of light put me to sleep.
and how weird is that? the tv is so low on volume that sometimes i have to actually pay REALLY close attention to hear whats going on in the news, or im trying to put myself in a seizure.
actually, its so my brain can stop focusing on what it focuses on all day... the moments that i do sleep, try to be good ones. even if i need some help from the boobtube.
so how does this relate to my room?
i was forced onto the westside of the apartment.
sure, it gets hot as fuck in the afternoon while the sun beats into the windows, but after the sun sets and dusk hits i am reminded everyday of how much i love this time of day.
everything has no color. magic.
its like someone took a big can of black spray paint and covered all the houses and the palm trees and sometimes the cars the same color so the light of the sky could be dominating.
its the only part of the day that makes me open my blinds, pull back the drapes and open the windows so the whole world could see me sitting at my desk... or laying on my bed in the faintly lit box i call my room.
the room i was forced to have, to remind myself everyday how wonderful it is to be here.
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